so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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