Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
