If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
