Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
of course. lets lasso hookers.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
