bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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