I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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