what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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