Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
