Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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