I want to walk on stilts...naked
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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