You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
