If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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