No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
