I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well I just put wine in my tea
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize