One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize