Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
