Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize