Pants 0. Shit 1.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I enjoy the company of your penis
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize