based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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