I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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