i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
