He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
