Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
