That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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