So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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