Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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