glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
