The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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