It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
