Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
