I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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