Non-Jews are for practice
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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