It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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