I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
