After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
