Do you still have your period?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My breasts were aching with rage.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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