Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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