I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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