She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
