People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
