I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
