I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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