she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
