i may or may not be watching the land before time
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
