I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
