Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
love makes seman taste better
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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