is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize