i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
