Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
