Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
