Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
