We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
