It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I said "one day" and that day is not today
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
