Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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