k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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