I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
