im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
