Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
