Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
