He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
