Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
