he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
