Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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