bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
