Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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