If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
