Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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