I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she told me i tasted like america
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
