My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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