All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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