In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
