two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
