and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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