i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
